Log in

No account? Create an account

November 2008



RSS Atom
Powered by LiveJournal.com

Previous 10

Nov. 3rd, 2008


Longing by Matthew Arnold

Come to me in my dreams, and then
By day I shall be well again!
For so the night will more than pay
The hopeless longing of the day.

Come, as thou cam'st a thousand times,
A messenger from radiant climes,
And smile on thy new world, and be
As kind to others as to me!

Or, as thou never cam'st in sooth,
Come now, and let me dream it truth,
And part my hair, and kiss my brow,
And say, My love why sufferest thou?

Come to me in my dreams, and then
By day I shall be well again!
For so the night will more than pay
The hopeless longing of the day.

Sep. 27th, 2008


(no subject)

"All the earth is a grave and nothing escapes it,
nothing is so perfect that it does not descend to its tomb.
Rivers, rivulets, fountains and waters flow,
but never return to their joyful beginnings;
anxiously they hasten on the vast realms of the rain god.
As they widen their banks,
they also fashion the sad urn of their burial.
Filled are the bowels of the earth
with pestilential dust once flesh and bone,
once animate bodies of man who sat upon thrones,
decided cases, presided in council, commanded armies,
conquered provinces, possessed treasure, destroyed temples,
exulted in their pride, majesty, fortune, praise and power.
Vanished are these glories, just as the fearful smoke vanishes
that belches forth from the infernal fires of Popocatepetl.
Nothing recalls them but the written page. "

Beautiful Aztec poetry.

(no subject)

I have no idea what I want sometimes. That is scary.

Jul. 17th, 2008


(no subject)

I has a kitten.

Carlito is a sweet, cuddly, troublesome little moneysucker. And i love him dearly.

Jun. 18th, 2008


(no subject)


and I'm alone again.

Jun. 12th, 2008


(no subject)

Jogging, cooking and decorating put me in a ridiculously good mood.

May. 27th, 2008


Writer's Block: Perfect Sandwich

Describe your perfect sandwich, layer by layer.

this sounds cute.

- bread. good bread, soft with a crunchy crust.
- next is cilantro hummus.
- lettuce. romaine, not that iceberg crap.
- cucumber slices.
- peppers. preferably green bell but i'll be honest, i love peppers. so any will do.
- more bread, with the hummus spread onto it.

yields a deliciously satisfied nicole.

PS- http://dragcave.ath.cx/ is very addictive

May. 16th, 2008


here and now

these are the moments I need in my life.

sitting on my balcony with a soft breeze, reading Atonement and drinking green pomegranate tea. kitty is underneath me, quiet and calming. my cigarette smoke curls gently. the air smells like grass and tobacco. The highway i nearby, but instead of roar, the rush of traffic sounds like a distant hum.

these are the moments I need when gossip has gown so think and malicious it threatens a chokehold on my life.

Mar. 24th, 2008


(no subject)

It's strange - I just have the overwhelming feeling of dread, like something bad is going to happen. Like all the little things are going to explode into one giant flaming ball of pain, misery and shame.

But I could be wrong...


Mar. 20th, 2008


My chart :)

Nicole is a Cancer sun person with a Virgo moon. She has Gemini rising.

Her chart is the first in a while with a Finger of God pattern in it (otherwise called a Yod, which is I think from the first letter in the Hebrew name for the divine. Or one of them). The focus is Saturn conjunct Uranus in the 7th house, quincunxes zipping here from the Cancer Sun in the 2nd house and Jupiter in the 12th house.

She also has a great many other aspect patterns; I'll try hard not to miss them (but I read patterns very very slowly; I so often find myself in the middle of a reading going.."and...oh, lookie there, a Grand Trine, who knew??")

The finger of God pattern is supposed to be kind of the universe's neon sign for you; indicating some energies you really should be paying attention to; sort of a life focus.
(yes, it is supposed to be a good thing; we don't all get special instructions with our charts)

Uranus/Saturn are in Sagittarius; Jupiter is in Taurus; Sun of course is in Cancer.

Now, right off the bat we have some unusual energies going on, though Nicole will share these with others born during the same period--that Uranus/Saturn conjunction. It happens to fall exactly at the cusp to the 7th house (house of partnerships and marriage) and that makes it exactly opposite her ascendant.

Uranus is full of a desire to reform, turn over, revolutionize the world and the life (and in the 7th house, partnerships in general). These tendencies are, if anything, increased by it being in Sagittarius--wild ideas, original ideas, lots of desire to Do Something About It Now. Really a jumping about wild eyed anarchist of a planet. (and I enjoy Uranian energy a great deal, don't get me wrong--it can be very creative).

Then we have Saturn. Planet of stability, of taking enough time, of discipline, of law and order, of endurance, of structure.

And you link them together very very closely. Kind of like cats in a box or something.

Saturn tells us about what we need for stability, and Saturn in Sagittarius needs understanding, needs answers, wants to have an intellectual grasp of everything. (and this may include huge questions: who made god? what is the universe for? where do I fit? why is that butterfly not talking to me?). The danger with--okay "danger" is too strong a word--the challenge of Saturn in Sagittarius is that sometimes one substitutes intellectual understanding for the need to act (but--remember, Uranus wants to act NOW. or yesterday).

You can see there might be some inward tension going on, particularly involving the presentation of self (links to the ascendant) and how one relates to partners (doesn't have to be only romantic partners there--teamwork of any sort). Uranus will want to be the lone gunman...or, um, the leader who need not check in to make sure the direction is okay. Saturn wants to be very very very responsible.
Nicole wants both, embodies both, demonstrates both.

(and she also has Neptune in Capricorn in the 7th house, which complicates the picture a bit more...this is a very intriguing chart).

So you have the quincunx from Jupiter in Taurus. Increases the energy most of the time, but tempts Uranus to reckless thought and behavior and tries to tempt the Saturnian stability into just playing--hey, who has to get that report done? how boring.

And you have the Sun, the actual conscious self, trying to deal with these apparently contradictory tendencies. Very interesting.

And the Moon is square Uranus/Saturn. So is Mars. Lots to tease out here.

But let's start with that Gemini ascendant. Gemini rising gives a nice liveliness to the first impression people have of you; a sparkle in the eyes and the ability to connect with others on an intellectual level. Gemini rising people usually enjoy conversations a lot, but not all of them are extroverts--so it's not that Nicole necessarily just leaps into chatter when she meets someone, but given a chance to know someone and feel at ease she will enjoy sharing info and ideas and talking of grand theories and such (particularly with that Sagittairian energy happening in the 7th house).

She has Chiron in Cancer fairly close to the ascendant (it is late Gemini rising). This is followed by Juno, also in Cancer, and by Mercury, also a Cancerian planet.

Mercury in the first house is going to increase that impression (for the first house is all about our social mask, the first impression, our persona) that Nicole is an intellectual and communicative sort of person. But Mercury in Cancer needs to communicate and learn through emotions. May have an amazing memory--just as long as there is some emotional hook, some tie in to the emotions in what is felt or learnt.
Mercury is opposite Neptune in Capricorn, which is going to increase the sympathies, the imagination, the sense of fantasy and whim, and the tendency to be fairly easily taken in by a hard luck story. On the positive side, well, compassion is great. On the more challenging side people with a Mercury/Neptune connection need to watch a tendency to get too involved, too drained by all the needs of others (because the needs can be fairly endless).

Chiron in the first house gives the person something of a crusader energy. Wrongs in the world are her responsiblity to right; poor sad....anythings...need to be looked after by someone, and this person feels "my role, I shall do it!" (I have a friend--a Leo--who has a first house Chiron who said one day--"what can I say, I pick up worms" meaning that after a rainstorm she takes the worms on the sidewalk to the grass so they won't be hurt. She is aware she does that at other levels too) (I also pick up worms--put that down to my strong Neptune).

Juno in the first house gives a lot of attractiveness; people look at a first house Juno person and think "oh, so nice, so cute, what a lovely person". And the sorts of people most likely to show up in the life are going to be Cancerian (very nice for a Cancer Sun person)--emotional, caring, fiercely protective, sentimental, strong, in need of periods of refuge and retreat from all the caring and connecting they do in their lives.

With the closeness of Chiron to Juno it may be that partnerships involve some degree of healing, dealing with old issues, becoming emotionally whole. Or that Nicole is adept at helping others do this with their lives.

Chiron in Cancer is very adept at caring for others; may not be quite so good at recognizing when she needs care and accepting that from others. Chiron is square Mars (Mars is in Aries and conjunct Ceres--we do have very intriguing stories in this chart). Assertiveness/aggressiveness--so, where do you draw the line? Is it safe to be powerful?
There may be some parental issue here . Yes, we all, all have our parental issues--part of becoming our grown up selves--um, if we manage that--is to become our own person, apart from the values and qualities of our parents, and sometimes that is a harsh struggle. Love and self-identity. Takes a while to manage this with grace.
There might also be a very strong tie to the mother (which can be quite positive, but there is still the question of claiming one's own being and space).

Nicole is likely to inspire others to do great things, to do things they don't think they can possibly do--at the same time as she copes with considerable inner uncertainties in herself, which only her very closest companions, probably, have a clue about.

The second house, house of what is valued, what is considered worthwhile in life, is a Cancer cusped house, and the Sun is in this house. So, the Cancerian qualities--the emotional responsiveness, the ability to fiercely stand up for those one loves (or causes one adopts as one's own), the wistful feeling of nostalgia for a perfect time (maybe in the actual past but more often than not a sort of fantasy era, a connection with a Golden Age--Arthur's time, or an idealized Edwardian period, or whatever, or Ancient Greece, or Egypt (can be any time or a mythic time--but a time when all is beautiful and romantic and harmonious, and it is felt as a longing in the soul.."if only I could have lived then") (um, which is why a lot of strong Cancer people tend to get involved in history). The Cancerian qualities are strongly believed in. These are what makes life worthwhile. Sometimes a second house Sun person can be momentarily led into a belief that actual physical possessions--lots of money, beautiful things that are owned, success in the stock market--are signs that she is a good person and doing well. This works out fine if the person happens to be financially wealthy, but should there be times of financial trouble the person thinks "no, I must be a Bad Person or else I'd be all wealthy" (I got into many a fight with my early church people over the concept that one's wealth was related to one's saintliness and vice versa. Oh, the fights I had as a tempestuous simple-living teen...but I digress. You can see that one of my values is not "get a bunch of money" and I read charts through that lens.)

The second house Sun person needs to figure out what brings her a sense of self worth. What does she truly value? What is the most important thing in the world? Where will she lay up her treasures--where they will rust and get munched by moths? Or maybe in an emotional, spiritual, metaphysical sort of realm.

This is not to say she can't have wealth and nice things and six houses and a yacht. Sure, if that is really what she wants, she can probably have it. It's just a question of priorities and what brings joy and wholeness.

Cancer Sun people often evoke in everyone else a bunch of "oh, mom is here" because they do have a tenderness about them, an ability to discern what would make others feel good, feel at ease, feel a sense of comfort. And they do a bunch of caring.
But they really, really, really need to have time alone, time in a private place (actual or in the mind) in which they are not subject to the needs of others and can gain some inner repose, some sense of stability. Now, sometimes Cancer people--who have a certain fear of making others uncomfortable--won't be all upfront about that need. It's a lot better if they can be, if they can draw lines and say "I need some time alone now"--but if they can't what they tend to do is become really, really bitchy. As if they are going to make you decide you'd better get some space between you--"my goodness, what happened to my nice Cancer friend? She is acting like the worst person ever and looks like she is about to bite my head off whenever I wander into her room?!!"
Cancer sun people tend to be empaths a lot more than other signs (except Pisces, and those with a strong Neptune or maybe first house moon). Picks up the feelings, desires, moods of other people. If this is extreme the Cancer can go into a room with a lot of other people intially feeling okay and suddenly feel very sad, or angry, or something else that is a bit bewildering because someone in the room is dealing with strong emotions.

Pop astrology tends to say stuff about Cancer being all about moodiness and motherliness and a love of the ocean (there is a love of the ocean, usually, true). There's a bit more to the person than that (no surprise, right?). Some of the most interesting and...really kind of extreme..people in the past were Cancers--Emma Goldman, Thoreau, Yeats. There is sometimes the ability to take that caring and concern and make it an almost universal force.

Leo is the sign on the house of communications and siblings (and those like sibs in our life), neighbors, networking. No planets here; there may be an attitude of warmth and noblity and the expectation that, in a sibling-like group, of course Nicole should be the central figure.
Communications will have an element of warmth (plus the emotional qualities of the Mercury in Cancer). (this includes writing, speaking, etc).

Virgo is the sign on the 4th house, house of home, where one is at home in the world, one's roots, foundations; the start of life, the end of life.
Vesta is here, so is the Black Moon Lilith, and so is the Virgo Moon.

A Virgo 4th house is going to tend to lead to a home (if this is possible, it may at some periods be merely an internal sense of what the home should be like) full of beautiful plants, bookshelves, interesting objects (the little fossil sea shell, the bowl of beach glass), artwork, and possibly a critter or two. No, the house will not necessarily be all neat and clean, but it is likely to have a sense of internal beauty and order. And privacy; a Virgo 4th house does not have its doors flung open to everyone; you need to be deemed worthy to enter (and this is true of the metaphoric home as well as the actual dwelling space). With Vesta in the 4th house there is a periodic need to leave home, to range outside of the local realm, to travel, or simply to get outside (and particularly to get outside the close family ties).
Vesta in Virgo has an amazing detail sense--really notices little things other people don't.

The Virgo Lilith is...well, it's like having a very close connection to the archetype of the White Lady, the Madonna, Kwan Yin, or whatever other very compassionate, yet self-contained manifestation of female power you relate to--at your heart. There is a great strength to tap into if you have Virgo's Lilith, and a great deal of compassion that isn't all sticky and pitying, if you know what I mean. It's not "poor baby" stuff, it is higher and bolder than that--and maybe a bit colder too. One can, in a way, become a channel for the compassion and wisdom of the compassionate Mother-energies with the Virgo Black Moon.
This is going to play well with the Virgo Moon, because when you have a Virgo moon you have an inner sense of the worthy, sort of an innate understanding of what is true and what is phony--not in terms of facts, but in terms of essence. What's authentic, what's worthwhile, what's worthy.

There is a need in those who have the Virgo moon to feel that they have some higher goal in life, something (or someone) to which they can be dedicated, devoted, and helpful. They have tremendous loyalty and deep passion to give to the worthy person or cause or both of these (or study, or career).

Someone with Moon in the 4th finds her inner balance, her inner self, most easily when she can be at home (or in private) or in some way in touch with her roots, her family.

This Moon is the apex of a t square, squaring Venus in Gemini (12th house) and that Saturn/Uranus excitement in Sagittarius in the 7th house. It is also opposite Mars (in Aries in the 10th house) though at a large orb there (*counts degrees*..okay, it's around 6 degrees, close enough) (you've almost got a grand cross going on, but not quite).

Gonna have a lot of emotional lability here, a lot of surges and dips in the emotions, and some challenges in estabishing boundaries. There is a basically romantic soul here, but the Virgo moon values decorum (not going to go out and yell about how she's fallen in love, guards her heart). The opposition to Mars usually gives a temper but also increases the imagination and the quality of dreams and intuition. The square to Venus also increases the imagination (strong, strong imagination in this chart) but may give some problems with understanding the emotions of other people. May misread emotions if there is a personal connection (this is different than picking up the emotions of others--that is really impersonal, though it feels personal since Nicole is feeling the emotions of others). May think someone who likes her a lot doesn't, and may believe people don't care about her--when really they do, but it is a problem in emotional styles and translation.

With the Moon figured so strongly into some of the chart patterns I once again need to bring up parental issues. Not that they are absolutely necessarily there, but when you find such a strong yet challenged moon you want to consider particularly the relationship with nurturing females (usually) in the life, and also the situations that were happening in very early infancy.

Moon in the 4th house gives a nurturing home, no problem there. But the challenges from Saturn/Uranus often relate to early problems in the pregancy or labor/delivery or infancy, often problems in the life of the mother that were sensed by the infant. Sometimes this may simply have been, say, a premature birth or some situation in which the infant needed to be away from the mother. Sometimes the mother was dealing with stuff and not totally emotionally present for the child. At any rate, whatever the actuality, the feeling is one of lack of safety, of being in some sense abandoned. Because the events that produced this are generally extremely early in the life, and before the time we are verbal, the feelings operate at an unconscious level. They will come to consciousness when a transit triggers something related in the chart--a conjunction to the moon (or opposition) or to Uranus, or a square, or whatever.
If this is what is happening the person may have some challenges to deal with in terms of trust and ability to believe that love is there, will be there, is not going to vanish. Because the experience (and remember--this has nothing to do with whether the mom loved you dearly or not, it is the experience internally felt--probably with lack of information)--has led to an internalized sense of "if I need someone they will not be there, therefore I must not need anyone".
It can be worked with (and often it is kind of interesting, if one's mom is still around, to gently ask what was happening in the year before the pregnancy, during the pregnancy, and in the year following. Maybe nothing at all and you can shrug it off. Maybe something you didn't know.) (and maybe the mom isn't ready or willing to discuss it at all).

The 5th house is Libra cusped (moment of applause for this wonderful sign, please) and contains Pluto in Scorpio. This is the house that has to do with romance, kids, creative self expression, joy, what brings fun and delight into the life. With a Libra cusp we have a need for beauty, for harmony. Probably a very highly developed artistic sense, and maybe talent in something artful or literary. Needs some romance in the life and for sure needs justice, equality in partnerships. Will enjoy the attentive flourishes, if the new love can manage that--while Libra is an air sign and intellectual, Libra is not at all adverse to hearts and flowers (tasteful hearts and flowers, please) and poetry and dancing in the moonlight. People with a Libra 5th house get along well with kids because they don't condescend to them.
Pluto here tells us that there may be some very transformative experiences in life around romance,kids, etc, and/or that Nicole wants to really deal with the heart of the matter, get to the secrets in her creative work, delve into the mysteries (or in relationships; not going to be content with mere surface, no matter how pretty it may be). Pluto is trine Mercury, giving tremendous ability and strength to the mind, to communications (and perhaps some psychic ability as well, since there is also a sextile to Neptune). Highly intuitive, and people really pay attention to what she has to say, and she can say just the right word (she can also say the most cutting word that hits to the heart--so there is some responsiblity needed; people don't take what she says lightly).

Scorpio is the sign on the 6th house, which has no planets hanging around. House of health, work for pay, service to others. These matters will have elements of Scorpio mystery, healing, research, secrets. Emotions. Passions. Unlikely to get involved in things that are all trivial.

7th house has a Sagittarian cusp and here we have Saturn/Uranus and Neptune. Neptune is in Cappie, the wild pair of course in Sagittarius, and dealing with all those aspect lines (apex of another t square, apex of the Yod, opposite Venus).

We've discussed a bit of what the Uranus/Saturn combo is going to be doing, but it is important to consider that this is all happening strongly in the realm of partnerships and marriage. Someone with a Sagittarian 7th house is going to need the door open, metaphorically, in any partnerships. This doesn't mean she won't marry and enjoy many different sorts of partnerships (actually, with Uranus, the more different the better, probably) but it does mean that she will not tolerate infringment on her freedom that is imposed from outside her, or against her will. So partnerships are going to need to be very--unusual, tolerant sorts of situations, flexible, and very intellectual (what with the Sagittarian energy) as well as probably physical (as in...no, not only what you may be thinking--this could involve "let's go do sports together" or "let's go hiking with the dogs").
But at the same time, those partnerships will need to have Saturnian responsiblity and duration. Amazing originality combined with structure. New ideas, old ways. Or old ways with new methods.

It is crucial for Nicole to honor both sides of the Uranus/Saturn energy in herself (and within her relationships). Together they will grant a lot, but if she gets herself trapped into "must be one or the other" she will be spun out of balance (oh, yes, I am a Libra..)..This doesn't mean she has to be all obsessive about it, but just aware--only conventionality or only radical craziness by itself won't do it for her.

Sometimes people with a strong 7th house Saturn end up with partners in life who are older than they are (or seem wiser, more experienced).

People with the 7th house Saturn are always told not to marry young (the thought being that the Saturn return will hit this area of life, and early marriages will suffer and may end). (has anyone paid attention to this? probably not).

Neptune in Capricorn in the 7th house gives a need for compassionate, imaginative, poetic partnerships, and also gives the gift of being able to really do something with the dreams, the visions, the intuitions. Neptune squares Mars (and opposes Mercury; it's another t square with Mars as the apex). People with the Neptune/Mars square may tend to be kind of drawn hither and thither by things outside their planning--but events that have a tinge of "it was fated, who knew?" to them. Often these involve other people--the concerns of a partner leading the Neptune/Mars person to move somewhere, or to discover some new line of work or interest.
It can also be historic events; again--outside influences.

Capricorn is the sign on the 8th house, no planets here. This is the house of the occult, of sexuality and of inheritance, of karma, of death and regeneration, and of joint ventures, benefits through others.
With Cappie as the sign, there is an ease with the traditions (whatever "the traditions" might be). Wants to understand the past, what others have learned, wants to be part of a long, long line. This could connect to the inward knowing that is kind of passed on through our very DNA (okay, I have some odd beliefs about that, I think that we in a way contain the experiences of our ancestors, and sometimes these awaken in us--but that's my own oddity maybe). In situations involving sexuality and so on there is a big need for loyalty, for enduring connections.

Aquarius is the 9th house sign; we have Pallas in Aquarius here. This is the house of travel, of exploration in all ways (via travel, via learning, via spiritual search). Very original energy, very much open to new paths, new ways, wants to learn the theories, wants to understand the connections. And does, pretty uniquely, given Pallas here. Has the gift of solving problems through ways that most people would never even think of; leaves everyone gasping "how could you possibly know that?" "how did you know how to do that?". Will feel happiest if travels in life include visits to places like libraries and ancient temples and such. There is a really fine mind.

The 10th house (with the Midheaven) is Piscean. The north node is here (and the south node is in the 4th house). Ceres conjunct Mars in Aries is also in this house.
This is the house that shows us what our public image is like, what our career/calling might involve. So we have someone who, to the public who haven't met her (except maybe in her "career" role), appears to be poetic, sensitive, emotional, rainbowey (that is a word, really), maybe a bit of a psychic even. Someone who is compassionate, who is not perhaps really terribly pragmatic.
(we'll deal with the nodes in a bit)

But she is also seen as a nurturer (with Ceres here) and--as with that first house Chiron--as an activist, a champion (since Mars is conjunct). The square with Chiron/Ceres is another of the nudges that makes me wonder about issues with the mother, or with the concept of mothering (not that there is anything terrible here, but there is a stress happening, and when there is a stress...well, I wonder.) Certainly there is a conundrum around the issues of being a caretaker and maybe not allowing oneself to receive needed care.
Ceres in Aries (and this is really increased by having the Mars conjunct) is nurtured through action, physical activities. I've mentioned now and then my best friend from my teen years (which were a long, long time ago). She's a Capricorn and a wonderful person, a sister of my heart--but everytime we have gotten together, which we do at least once a year or so, though we live far away from each other these days--our visit ends up with something, um, rather athletic. Volleyball. Kayaking. Biking down the coast. Etc. (and you have to know that though I was a dancer in my youth--that's where I met my friend, actually--I was also the last picked for any team; not athletic).
My Cappie friend has Ceres in Aries. For her these sorts of activities show her deep love, and make her feel wonderful.
(there's the thing about Ceres--what feels great to you you assume feels great to everyone else, and it might not be so. My Ceres is in Taurus--put me in a garden, feed my senses, that's great.) So, for Nicole, physical activity, something energetic, this feels great. People with Ceres in Aries make wonderful coaches, kind of psychic cheerleaders "yes, you can do this!!!"
Mars in Aries needs motion and activity and may have a sharp temper (which motion and activity will soothe). Needs to be in a position of leadership, and Ceres here will help actualize that for Nicole and for those she finds herself longing to help.

Aries is the sign on the 11th house, no planets here. Active friends, wants to be the one choosing the games, the activities, the adventures. May have a longing to be more--leadership oriented than she is.

Taurus is the 12th house sign. Here we have Jupiter in Taurus and Venus in Gemini.
Having Jupiter in your 12th house is like having an angel on your shoulder or a special fairy godfather or something; this generally gives really odd good luck of the last-minute sort (where it looks like things are hopeless, but then poof! a miracle!!!).
Jupiter in Taurus can be really highly pragmatic (in contrast to a lot of the imaginative rainbows in this chart), very hands on, very much into the senses and into the body and dealing with dirt under one's feet and so on. But this energy (and the Taurus energy in general) is kind of hidden (or denied). Could be that it doesn't quite feel "spiritual" enough; might feel as if the pleasures of the senses and feeding the bodily joys is somehow not good. (though this would contrast with the tendencies of a 2nd house Sun). Oh, and in fact, the Sun and Jupiter are joined in that sextile, and mutually relate to the Uranus/Neptune in the chart's Yod or finger of God. The sextile in and of itself grants a basically hopeful disposition; takes a lot to unsettle someone with Jupiter in positive relationship to her sun, there is a sense of "everything will be okay" no matter what is really going on. And with Jupiter in the 12th house--well, chances are, yes, everything will work out okay.

Venus in Gemini doesn't want to be bored, whatever else is happening. In contrast to a lot of the need for stability in this chart in relationships, Venus in Gemini is quite capable of loving more than one person at the same time--and genuinely, not out of "oh, I'm going to experience a lot" or "okay, let's have fun". Real love. (this is very hard for other people who do not have Venus in Gemini or some fairly strong..oh, Aquarian energy or Uranian energy maybe--they see it as kind of heartless). Venus in Gemini must feel free to move and free to leave and free to explore. Often there is a talent in writing with this Venus.
But in the 12th house there can be a degree of denial of the sweetness of life for oneself (one is very nurturing of others, takes care of others, but feels somehow that one isn't deserving of sweetness, tenderness, love). One may try to cover up just how vulnerable and sensitive one is (good luck with that, I can't imagine a Cancer sun person with a Pisces midheaven really pulling that off very well).

Now, the Moon's nodes run from the 4th to the 10th house; south node in the 4th house in Virgo, north in Pisces in the 10th house.
The south node is said to be about what comes naturally to us, what is easy for us, where we can rest from the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, what we simply know, from birth on.
The north node is what we are challenged to stretch towards in our life, what may be harder for us, what will, however, complete us. Kind of our mission statement in a way.

So when we have a 4th house south node, privacy, being in our own space, our home, being with our family, being tucked out of public view--this feels pretty right and good. On home ground. And where there is (with Virgo) a sense of order, a sense that things can be understood and dealt with in a beautiful but perhaps finite way. It makes sense. We can arrange the garden, we can fix up the library and sit there thinking important things and all is well.

But the challenge is to take that understanding and knack for being in touch with the authentic and real--and dare to take it public. Dare to publish. Dare to be in public. Dare to find our true calling, career. And to let go of the need to make certain everything can be accounted for and measured and understood--to release oneself into compassion and imagination and things that are not really logical at all. Into the realm of illusion and magic and poetry and spirit (what with a Pisces north node). To trust a bit more and lean on the invisible.

Often people swing between the nodes,and working on the things of the north node does not mean you must give up the pleasures of the south node; they form a continuum I think (at least as I understand it, and I am continually learning a bit more--my own nodes run as Nicole's do, 4/10, but in Scorpio in the 4th and Taurus in the 10th).

So what's up with the current transits to Nicole's birth chart? Well, Mars has just moved into her first house Cancerian energy and is poking at Chiron pretty intensely. This would bring up old hurts very strongly (but with a potential for dealing with them, for letting go of them, for solving them). The Moon happened to have been conjunct Mars at the time I pulled the chart (on the 3rd; the moon has moved on into Leo now) so there would have been heightened emotionality.

Saturn has entered her 4th house, so things "at home" whatever that might mean--are subject to more need for structure, more responsiblity, more seriousness.

Pluto and Jupiter are both in the 6th house right now (*stares at degrees*)..okay, Pluto is hitting the start of the 7th house, this is going to bring up changes potentially in realtionships, and it is hitting Uranus/Jupiter so the entire YOD is being triggered right now, with a quincunx back to the Sun and to Jupiter. Change is in the air.

Don't do anything rash, Nicole, but prepare for changes to be happening in your life (if you can prepare; I think all you can do really is remind yourself that this is a change period that will end, that things will be okay, and to do boring things like taking your vitamins and drinking enough water and trying to get enough sleep).

Jupiter is opposite Venus. This is a time in which one craves sweetness (often literally) and fun in life, so you need to push yourself to get projects done (but if you do, they can be wonderful, because these are very helpful energies).

Neptune is coming through the 9th house; lots of need for imaginative studies, poetry, travel, mystic stuff. More emotional than usual (and that's going some).

Oh. And, just to kick everything up a zillion notches, Uranus is conjunct your north node. In the house of public, career, etc. Big changes, and a deep restlessness, and huge challenges (but you can meet them, this is a period of a lot of opportunity in your life).

Previous 10